i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
i saw a stretcher and literally ran around for 10 minutes telling people it wasnt for me
No amount of marijuana is enough to justify blood on my ceiling
... They left for 10 minutes and came back with a lobster he's in the toilet downstairs
Lazier than spoon feeding yourself popcorn and debating adult diapers so you don't have to leave the mentalist marathon on tv?
Unless you're gonna start buying my underwear, you have got to stop ripping it off of me.
I was able to hide the fact that I had just shit in my pants, and then wupped her ass at FIFA
just tried to scoop ice cream with a steak knife. now in the emergency room with a the cab diver and the drag queen he picked up on the way. its gonna be a loooong day.
We should. Taco Bell definitely gives me the shits though.
It's girls night. No shame, just febreeze
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
I yelled out "blow jobs!" in my macroeconomics class. Ask me more about how my life is spiraling out of control.
So he has moved up to a stage 5 clinger...Surprised he didn't try to lure you into bed with tacos, like he did last time
Yeah... akward. I don't want a round 2
Its like a glacier coming out of my asshole.
His face will be in my vagina later so I'm willing to forgive.
Put down the Captain Crunch and get over here. It’s a dickfest!!
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