My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
im like that movie w. ryan reynolds, no ones ever going to date me unless they're forced to marry me.
You should have seen her outfit yesterday. It was like pretty woman before Richard Gere gave her money to buy a new outfit.
first off, his name is dougie. strike one.
Pillow talk just revealed that he originally thought I was 16.
I hope we all get so wasted that we ride the cows again
we're going to the olympic park to run the 100m yeaaaahhh
it's 3am. Nothing could possibly go wrong here.
Best feedback on my performance so far: "There are things that can't be unseen."
She knocked me and my drink to the ground with her ass. I have never been mad at someone for having a glorious booty.
She just won 2 Grammys at 17 and were sitting here hotboxing our half bathroom
I'm gonna celebrate Valentines day by watching Bob Ross videos and tripping balls.
Can't really tell your Mom you are moody due to dick deprivation.
I lick assholes and I wouldn't eat mdma
I have only made 3 good decisions in my life and getting really stoned reenacting the Lion King with my cat in a lion mane hat is 2 of them.
It's 1:37. You have 23 minutes to get your dick to the bar before I go home with the bartender... tick... tick...
Randomize
