I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
I found a knife in my bed when I got back this morning. I think one of my roommates has it in for me
What the hell did I do to get youtube to recommend a video for me called "how to increase your chances of getting pregnant"?
For future reference, when you see people who look like Rosie O'donell, do not tell them they look like Rosie O'donell.
You are the worst substitute drug dealer ever
Just had a guy dressed only in a towel ask me for a cig, hug me and kiss me then proceeded to pee of the balcony while still talking to me and callin me baby
ttyl tear gas
We'll I told him I wanted to keep it PG last night, but then later I asked him to take his pants off. So i'm guessing it was my fault.
I hope your pay increase has gone through because I might need bail. This is not what I dreamed adulthood would be like.
There was booze on his face and I wanted it. I'm not sorry.
if masturbating while stoned isn't called "weed whacking" then i just don't know how to live my life anymore
2 things: 1) can you get hep from toilet water? And 2) do you know where we can get a new skillet for cheap?
Please tell me those aren't related.
I made rice.
I SMOKED SO MUCH I SKIPPED A DAY.
Sneezing cum all over the table was not the highlight of the family reunion if that tells you anything
Fuck you. I've got onesies to keep me warm at night. And this bottle.
Randomize
