Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
ya i looked horrible drunk and pregnant isn't a good combination
Eating hibachi. The chef is squirting sake into my mouth with a ketchup bottle. Happened twice, more to come.
I just realized last night I drunk-bought a flight to Florida for this weekend...kinda torn between the price and the potential of awesomeness
Would it be a dick move to report the suite next-door for a noise violation? They're singing Bad Romance off-key and I'm not sure if I can allow that.
I remember convincing the limo driver to smoke with us and if he did I would name my first son after him.
Dude I swear I heard "geet out!!!" when I went down on her. I shouldve listened.
Change of plans. Theres a bouncy castle setup in my apartment complex.
Oh if I trust ANYTHING about you it's your ability to lead a douchebag around by the dick
the night probably should have been over when the guy let her fill out my mechanical bull waver for me because i couldn't read
Well, we broke up and instead of putting my shit out on the curb like a normal person, she fucking donated everything to Goodwill. So now I have to pay two dollars for one of my own t shirts.
It's ok, it's locked within patented Sealrite technology. That puke is staying fresh
I don't think Buddha would recommend a sexscpade across Mexico
I'm sorry, but the bed has won this battle. I got up, changed my shirt, combed my hair, put on some deodorant, and then looked at my bed and got back in
This girls ass literally just fell out of her jeans in front on me on the escalator. Going commando on a Monday morning is a bold move.
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