From behind she looks like Richard Simmons
Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
he asked my vagina if she was excited to meet Leonard. LEONARD. His fuckin penis is named Leonard.
If you're not on crutches for breakfast, I'll feel like I've failed you.
So in Aca Taco on grad night 1am, this bitch walks in alone drunk as fuck in her gown to the front of the line and says, "I graduated today...thank YOU"
She is the epitome of a puke & rally. She picked a random hott guy at the bar & made him pinky promise not to leave while she took a power nap. She went & passed out in her friends car & apparently puked just outside the bar. She stumbled in & found the randome guy again & claimed she was golden. Made it to the after party & stayed up til 6 doing body shots off every girl she saw & hooked up with the random from the bar. I love her life
Why yes. I did get laid looking like that. My sheets look like there was a clown orgy
I hooked up with a British man... Wiz Khalifa has your bra... Couldn't have been a more successful night!
I'm at the point where I'm gonna write in my mothers bday card. Happy birthday. Please stop having sex with the door open.
Life is my bitch right now. The bouncers tried to carry me out of the club, but everyone thought I was crowd surfing so everyone carried me BACK IN. Winning as fuck.
This wouldn't be the first time my boss has seen me topless
I told her we had to stay at the bar until at least midnight because that's when my direct deposit hit, don't tell me i'm not responsible
It smells like grilled cheese and sexual frustration
However many condoms you have, it isn't enough.
I have all the porn. Be there soon
Who is this?
Randomize
