If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
I was doing the dishes wondering what was with all the tiny little cups, but then I remembered that some people drink things other than huge mixed drinks and big cups of water the next day.
I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
The bartender just started bringing me gin and tonic in a pint glass to save himself trips...
either she was really happy we won flip cup, or she was too drunk to notice her boyfriend behind her.
Well, I want to see you regardless of whether or not you will lick whipped cream off my body.
I have Denny's hours of operations written on the palm of my hand....not in my writing, in a girls writing, is that as good as or equal to a cell number?
I need to pack up my vagina and leave. We only do bad things together.
I really don't know where my pants are, but that's not the problem. When are you going to unlock the door?
The fact that you got a stranger guy to buy you a pizza off tinder makes me feel amazing
I feel like I hate him but his dick too bomb to hate completely
He howled at the moon then told me that if i were a dog he'd have sex with me...either i look like that girl or i need to stop going on blind dates. Period.
Please tell me why we have been neighbors since elementary school and waited until the night before I moved to fuck.
Who did he bring home?
Idk. But did you see her shoe choice by the stairs, I'm really not expecting anything great.
Randomize
