I just had to explain to my father, how having two screens plugged into my computer doesn't use more internet.
just got high and bedazzled my bra. other than bleeding from the prongs life is so good.
You know you have a great job when you need a DD home from work at 6pm.
He tried to make eye contact, he should know by now that freaks me out
Tried to eat a chip. Mouth wouldn't cooperate. Nearly died. Wow I've missed this.
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
You're going to the beach with me so we can have beach sex whether you like it or not. Get over it. Kthx.
Carving a pumpkin in a gay bar at 2am. How did my life get to be this way.
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
Why do I feel like I need to drink to feel better about the things I do when I'm drunk
Did you really eat 10 ice cream cones today?
It was tough but I powered through it.
If you sleep with him I will stab you int the uterus with a pitchfork.
Prepare the pitchfork.
Just remembered that I got laid thanks to my glow in the dark Batman belt buckle. Need to wear it more often.
....I just did my boss
I love you. And I will hold your hand as we skip on the road to hell.
just realized I'll be in a check out line with just Hershey syrup and condoms. I don't know if I am setting a good image for our generation
Randomize
