you definitely have a few illegitimate kids
probs. Not too worried about it though. MOst girls are too embarrassed that they let me into their pants that they'll never admit its mine
Ha Ha the cop that just pulled me over would like me to tell you hi!
i just found my sim card.....i hid it in my tylenol bottle....i guess to ensure i would find it mid-hangover
ew. I made a sandwich, and the cheese reminded me of her vagina
my life is in even more shambles than last time, mcdonalds is closed
I'm crossing my legs while pooping. Taking a shit has never looked so proper.
Her throat is strong enough to gargle peanut butter. I'm sure you were satisfied.
WAKE UP!!! We have 20 minutes to get to class. That means we only have 10 minutes to get drunk.
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
just ran into my drill sergeant from basic 4 years ago. gonna take him home and have him fuck me at the cadence of quick time.
She said I'm going to get you stoned and have you fuck me on the couch.
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
Not sure, she said after cussing out the dentist they called security. Make that the first person I know 86'ed by a dentist.
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
If I didn't have booty calls, my apartment would never get clean
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