I would never have sex with Danny Devito!! JSYK.
Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
look to my right... shes dancing like she's playing dance dance revolution and her character is a retarded, drunken moose
why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
so i walk in and shes blowing her vag with a hair dryer. so i asked what she was doing, she said heating up supper.. come eat ;)
i'm so jealous of you right now.
The night started going down hill when she shot the cashier in the face with the confetti gun we bought at 711.
The sound guy for the band told me id make a great valentines gift for his bisexual girlfriend
scratched cornea got me an eyepatch and a blowjob from a girl with a thing for pirates
I'm going to tattoo a maze on my back for the next fucker that tries to blow early ....
I will not be held responsible for my vagina's poor judgment.
He got naked and made a run for the door so I had to stop him.
Was the guy in the cowboy hat kinda hot or have I just not had sex in a really long time?
We had to push you home in an abandoned shopping trolley. You thought you were in a pirate boat and kept yelling "AVAST, ME HEARTIES".
It was like a baby arm holding another baby arm holding an apple grove. Fuckin huge!
Dude, my back STILL hurts from carrying the team on BP last night.
Randomize
