apparently i walked up to the counter, put $30 worth of snacks next to this girl, and went 'uhh i have no money'
he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
So the guy sitting next to me is watching dungeons and dragons on youtube. I didnt realize you could get more pathetic than actually playing the game.
If we went to a costume party as Batman and Robin I would go as Robin, that's how much you mean to me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like a really awesome person when i have to check my roof for things i've lost
Don't try to dry clothes in the microwave. They'll catch on fire.
Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business.
it doesn't matter, he's just a life support system for his dick
My liver just had a heart attack.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She was pouring Goldschlager in my mouth during the shower sex. How can you NOT like her?
I just ate cottage cheese and went to the gym at 6 this morning...the things i'll do because I might get naked in front of a new boy
For 15 minutes straight, he literally did every accent there was, from Russian to Bostonian. The issue: no one could determine whether he was sober, wasted, or anywhere in between
I remember 2 things. 1. Hanging through the window. 2. And she needing a bucket to puke in. That’s all. I have no other memory.
Um I got a ride home from the bar with two random boys and one tried to bang me on my parents riding mower
You know you have a good math teacher when we're talkIng about mixture problems and no one gets it until he explains it by talking about mixing alcohol
Randomize