He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
I just realized I haven't had steady access to a woman's body since I was breastfeeding.
Improvement. She went from pretending she was the soccer ball in the world cup games and it hurt when they kicked her to passed out on the floor.
it's been like two and a half months. And I swear, I keep seeing walking dicks. I think I'm going crazy cause of lack of sex..
I get off at the next exit which doesn't have a shoulder, a guy is riding my ass so I cant stop. I think I got as much puke on his car as on mine.
I'm. Arresyed bur sierra ue obbe of mt vet friends. I hope we can tyajk ane gwt ob the same page. Ur aweaome ttyl.
All I remember is this kid kept saying that he has a dream that white kids and black kids can take shots together as one, and just we'd keep drinking to that.
My cab driver just suggested I brush my teeth because he can smell "the party" on me.
Do you miss the park or do you miss us having sex in public?
I declared today 'Have a Bloody Mary Naked Day'. Why? Because I'm hungover, thirsty & don't want to bother putting on clothes.
You yelled This cop is arresting me for possession! Possession of MARIJUANA!!", everyone cheered, and you let him handcuff you and take you away.
Learning to live poor pretty well. Cashed in all the coins in my car for nearly 60 bucks and yelled at a Pizza Hut manager, insisting I have a free pizza credit, until he just gave me a pizza.
I woke up and there is a small Irish man playing call of duty in my room. Discuss.
I wasn't talking about him I meant his penis! Its not a pet
Oh. Well it should be. I like petting it.
Angels sing when his face is between my thighs. I came 3 times before he even came up for air.
Randomize
