I made out with a deaf person. Also I've been drunk 11 days in a row now.
is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
Who would win... a chainsaw pooping pterodactyl or a bear with machine guns for feet. big debate about this right now
When the shrooms kicked in we both simultaneously realized we were not the right puzzle piece for the dubstep puzzle.
We made eye contact and were like we are not welcome here, the ravers are onto us and we need to get the fuck out before we get shuffled upon
My arms are hairy. And so Is my left leg. Just my left leg, the right is smooth.
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
So his 25th anniversary post of love to his wife was almost verbatim what he said to me last week. Does that mean I win or lose?
i was sitting in the back of a squad car completely stoned watching airplanes take off
Please tell me how the stripper got back to Sarah's from the trailer park
Have you ever been so high that you felt like corduroy? I'm at that level.
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
Is she still on a quest to lick every stranger that enters the bar, or have the restraining orders reached critical mass?
Tell me you're alive little brother. And please tell me you didn't get arrested. You made no fucking sense last night in your random texts and pictures you were sending me.
Randomize
