I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
i dont think the girl sending me nudes is qualified to pass judgement on me
I don't know how many crown and cokes he went through but I know it was more that I have fingers. We are never leaving Texas.
now you know why we've never bought a 12 pack of king cobras before.
He tried to eat me out in the bath... I said it was a bad idea, but he said it was good snorkelling practice for vaca.
im celebrating the fact lent is over and i can give blow jobs again.
Bren left me with a lovely parting gift. Newfouund alcoholism. I'm on the kitchen floor, hugging a bottle of vodka. It's my only friend now.
well you're talking about the girl who after 4 years, several relationships and several fuck buddies, has yet to have sex in an actual bed
I've just informed her that you've voted her Chief-Adult-In-Charge-Of-Shit and that she will take the oath of office on Fri Dec 14th at 8 pm with her hand on a bottle of Jager.
I fucking hate tequila. Tequila makes me hate pants.
You kept hiding under tables and grabbing people's legs and shouting SHARK ATTACK.
Fireball goes down like mother's milk. Btw your housemate is naked
I forgot what I was gonna say, but I'm pretty excited to not be pregnant.
Randomize
