If that ambulance is off to save our dignity, please tell them it's too late...
never play flip cup with pint glasses
Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
I wish life was like dora the explorer where dancing pigs appear out of nowhere to solve your problems for you
We had sex in the ocean but the tide took our clothes away too. Its no fun walking back to the dorm wearing only a beach blanket between you.
Is it horrible that I want to keep my purple landing strip until after my gyno apt? I feel like someone beside myself should see it...
i think he saw me take a picture of his dick
Was behind a guy going 20 for 4 miles I'll be there as soon as the universe quits fucking me
I fucked a guy that's in Sports illustrated. I'm officially ready for college.
I think I'm leaving the streamers and balloons up from 4th of july till after he stops by. It'll be like the universe is celebrating his massive dick.
I could tell my life story through kermit memes
He offered me free drinks all night if I could beat him in a drinking race. I blacked out after that but just found his credit card in my bra so there's that.
Man, I'm real high and googling what all my favorite figure skaters from childhood are doing now.
Micheal let me call him captain america while we fucked. It was awesome
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
Randomize
