I'm gonna do things to you that will make the neighbors want to move.
Anddd after the worst sex of my life, he said.."do you mind taking off the condom, tying it up, and throwing it at the door?" Weird.
Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
There is now a Twilight themed dildo. What do YOU want for christmas??
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel as though the word "tired" has become synonymous with "too high to manage the stairs" lately
don't be alarmed if you come back and i'm passed out drunk and naked cuddling with the franzia.
Should have told me the night we were talking about deal breakers that vomming outside your car was one of them. I would have taken a cab back
I awoke this morning to a naked boyfriend flying a remote controlled shark around his apartment. This is my life.
Kristy will be communicating through my phone. Due to her current blood alcohol level, the laws of Pennsylvania, Erie county, and common decency have deemed that she is no longer permitted to have her own phone.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All I want is a guy who will love me and occasionally shave my balls.
Riddle me this: I can stream porn just fine but try and watch my college class and nooo it won't work
Be there in 4 minutes
Let's just grow old together and be the crazy ladies that sit on the park bench, drinking booze from flasks and loudly talk about people who walk by.
Don't care if they even pay me; I lifeguard for the fringe benefits -- free tourist vagina in the Hilton jacuzzi every single night
He’s over 6 feet has amazing posture and went to Harvard and has an awesome job and a great dick and loves Jesus and is an organ donor
Is this the guy you have listed as free food in your phone
Noooo he’s listed as free food #5
I'd give my right arm to start my period. My right arm. Thats more significant then my left.
Randomize