Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
you ever get that eerie feeling when you walk in a room, when you know youve barfed here before.
the pub in dfw airport has a countdown timer to st. pattys day, to the second, i like texas
I didn't realize how much I missed him until his balls were back in my mouth..
being able to look good while almost puking is a skill that takes a lot of puking to develop.
as we waited for a manager to come open the door that we broke while having sex on the wall, we decided to go round two in the hallway before he came back.. god i love hotels.
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
Of dear god, I've been waiting to have rug burn like this since I got bored of my vibrator 2 months ago
Judging by the progress I've made since I woke up (none) I'm thinking this hangover may keep me in bed.
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
I texted him in the morning wishing him a day as spectacular as his dick was.
The moment buddy the elf found out he was human is exactly like the moment I realized I was gay
I woke up hugging my purse and I found a business card in my underwear. How?
I won the 'drunkest person at a family event' award tonight.
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