At the Phils game. My gay buddy just wanted up to a bunch of Mets fans and said "I'm gay, and even I think Mets fans are a bunch of fags." I love this fuckin town.
your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
wanna hang out tonight and remember it?
all you kept saying from the spare room was "can you bring me a puke bowl...and the cat"
i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
You're cordially invited to the love nest for alcoholic and aquatic adventures. Also known as an all expense paid trip to my pool, alcohol, and vagina.
Yeah? Well I'm currently predrinking downstairs in my room by myself. Absolut and water with a hint of mint because I'm using the glass I keep my toothbrush in. Fuck, you bitches better get off work soon.
I woke up to find his roommate face down on the couch with no pants on, with a sticky note that said "was lost but now am found"
Also I know you probably did not understand anything I said on the phone last night but thank you for pretending.
Sorry I yelled at you and called you Amish and puked on your eggs
Adderal can only make me focus so much. Your ass is stronger than my medicine. Congratulations.
please don't forget about the bread in the toilet i am absolutely not dealing with that
I took it as a sign from the lord above that she wanted me to creep on these men.
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
Randomize
