i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
I am officially superior to you. I said "Go Go Gadget Dick" before I fucked her. I dare you to beat that.
I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
Just got a birthday card from Camel. How am I supposed to stop smoking when they care?
Today might be the day that I legitimately throw up in my saxophone.
I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
He yelled "juice on the loose", yes i am sure i need plan b
Smoked all day yesterday and even more today. Just survived high dinner with mom and sister. Thought I might eat the whole table
watched two friends get underages. one had a shirt on that said lets get wasted while the other said to the cop "i understand your just trying to do your job but that was dirty bro".
There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
And by "schedule" I meant crumbled up liquor store receipt, that I wrote shit on.
Dude, I passed out on the side walk, lost my phone and shirt, and walked 12 miles home after I disappeared from the club
You're the best friend ever. I wouldn't want to do the walk of shame with anyone else.
So apparently I twerked on my coworkers last night. One month at the new job n I guess this is how I'm getting to know people
just found the "let's take a picture before we do these roommates" before picture
thank god there was never an after picture.
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