I mean I can't believe yesterday ended w/ your house getting firebombed. What an unexpected turn of events
how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
i either just walked in on pete wacking off to webmd or he was checking his dick for herpes
I think my plan to not drink this week was just ruined by my mothers discovery of the chat function on facebook
New dating criteria: what kind of ex will this person be?
You act like this is the first time I literally thought I was invisible.
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
I don't want to tell anyone! People who sleep with senators either end up in porn or guantanamo
I won't apologize to a one balled man
The straight guy here is hot. He described himself as Christian grey without the money and my vagina fell out of my body
Well its official, I'm into significantly freakier sex than even I thought possible.
We put a ban on pants at an unusually early point in the night.
Xanax and cookies, it's good to be home
If you fuck up my birthday by dying I will kick your fucking corpse.
looked it up online and zoo tickets are only 20 bucks and there's also a museum of science close to the hotel.
i'm not going to a FUCKING museum. i want to be wasted and possibly double penetrated... have you EVER been on vacation?
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