I just blew up the bathroom at work and now I feel like a new woman
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
I just wrote "where Jason is" on the screen. He guessed "hospital" correctly.
Yeah, he has a kid now! Shit... You know you're all grown up when the people you used to have threesomes with become parents
I managed to make myself a bowl of apple jacks, took one bite and had to stop eating them because they were making my brain wiggle. How was your comedown?
I ran into my boss at the liquor store on our lunch hour we both just stood there awkwardly until i was like your car bar or mine hahaha we both need a cab
Nooo, I ran into two if my exes, both having their engagement parties at the bar. It was like a fucking Eskimo family reunion, but with more tequila.
I am too high to deal with coming home to 11 naked people in my living room
I'm going to be drunk and braless all weekend. Let the festivities begin!
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
Apparently, Lolla sends you an email every time you use your wristband to buy a beer.
21 new emails...yikes
Rough day
Good thing I've started drinking again
I'm sorry, I'm tired, I can't play long distance cockblock anymore. Good night don't get too pregnant.
i need to get drunk because i'm an angry sober
Pandemic Silver Lining: cheap hotel rates makes it easier to have afternoon fun with my side dick
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