is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
He taught me how to drive a stick by using his dick. He even made the whurrrr noise so I knew when to change gears.
I had a dream she was puking on me, but sadly in real life she was puking on me too
You flooded my bathroom while trying to construct a hot tub. All three of you were completely naked.
Dude, they are shaking the RV, yell at them. It feels like i'm being rocked to sleep, I don't like it, I'm not a baby.
Our room will be decorated with my urine.
A homeless man just asked me if I had seen any "nekkid chicks with heineken bottles run by"
Berkeley was the right choice
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
He told me his cum shot melted the paint on his bedroom wall and asked if I want to see it
Every minute you wait for the sex that's not gonna happen, we're missing a tone deaf, drunk, tard-asaurus rex half-sing a 90's song to a bunch of other dinotards at karaoke.
Settled one third of the tab. Am going back for sex. Love you, make friends
Well start with a list of things you don't want to do... Like maybe 1) I don't want join Isis. That's a good start.
I am in serious pain and you're making dick jokes. I hope you wind up with crotch rot.
You took acid last night and I’m up early to go to the grand opening of a new TJMaxx by my house. We couldn’t be more perfect.
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
Randomize
