i was gonna tell him a really embarassing story about you, but then i remembered im in all of them
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
just had to re-breakup with her. it was like shooting a dead horse that was crying and talking.
Someone wrote Kyle's bitch on me too. I dont even know who Kyle is.
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
When else am I ever going to have a chance to do lines with T-Pain?
4 months of living in europe has taught me the art of making a drunken stumble look like a dance move
They seemed upset when they walked out and saw a penis in a mouth
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
She followed me back, then proceeded to find my room, get her panda suit on? And then raid my room and pass out on my couch... what the fack do I do now?!?!
Dude I sat in the corner of the party bobbing my head and singing danger zone
Im in my back seat in my own drive way with two beers left to shotgun and watching the sunrise. Am I over her yet?
Is it a coincidence that the reminder on my phone to take my birth control is "I'm ready to party" from Bridesmaids?
He said I have a comfortable vagina. What does that even mean?
He stole one of my good bras again. If I'm not getting laid I'm not putting with this shit. Also it's a walk of shame for you today, my car is suicidal again.
Randomize
