You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
In the middle of fucking me, she said "Hold on, I need my Hulk hands."
he told her to call him "Frog Legs" and she still fucked him and not you.
He wrote me poetry. 12 hours after getting my number
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh my fucking god you idiot bitch just get here forget about the vodka the fucking cops are looking for you
I'm eating those little wheels of cheese and watching storage wars, this is the opposite of sex.
My cell phone fell out of my shirt pocket while tying my shoe on an escalator....which was followed by me being accused of trying to sneak an upskirt photo and being violently shoved down the top of the escalator. How's YOUR day?
If I die it's either cuz I undercooked my burger or because I used questionable cheese. I have no pants on, so if there's a wellness check, you go in first.
You tell anyone I'm rocking out to Pitbull in an economy, base-model car, I'll kill you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Not sure if your roommate speaks German while sleeping, or if she woke up, figured out we were fucking, and used German to swear at us.
Tonight I'm getting fucked up for America because Lord knows we need it.
I'm nothing if not determined to sleep with everyone at that company
I just turned down an invite to sit on a face. IDK who I am.
What? Are you sick?
my dad just built a flame thrower.. you should probably get here
I've been eaten out in coupes, sedans, trucks, suv's, you name it. If I can do it in a smart car, you can do it in a vw beetle.
I knew you were the expert on doing it in public. You need to get paid for your advise
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