I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
He said I was like bonnie and clyde all rolled into one but twice as trashy and 75% less clothes...
He obviously understands you completely.
They let you pick the name that they announce for you at graduation. The professional world needs to prepare itself for papa smurf mcdonald.
My booty call got married. Come over before I start tagging all the places my dick has been in her wedding photos.
what kind of wine goes with anal sex and shame?
scratched cornea got me an eyepatch and a blowjob from a girl with a thing for pirates
Eating nacho cheese off the carpet. How is your morning?
My mom just added me on Facebook... She has one like and it's Will Smith
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
Question #1: Why am I on my living room floor? Question #2: Where did the bloody footprints come from? Question #3: Why are there two McChickens next to the wine bottle?
gonna guess the empty vodka bottle and open can of tuna in the bathroom drawer are related?
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
They sent him a photo of me smoking a bong whilst wearing the dinosaur head. I think that's the last we hear of his nonsmoking fitness freak ass 🤷🏼♀️
Just looked at my bank statement. 9 out of 10 transactions on the first page were from 9 different bars. The 10th was for birth control pills at the pharmacy. I need to rethink my lifestyle.
Randomize
