Me too!
Grinding on my ninth grade teacher. Dreams really do come true
she said i have a nice penis, i told her only bob saget and god could judge that.
I need a DD tuesday morning around 9 AM
I'm scared to ask why.....
1st bikini wax. Jose Cuervo is helping me prepare.
The girl with a dislocated arm just did an assisted keg stand. You will never have an excuse again.
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
He gave me a trycicle he stole from a kid as an "offering" to have sex. I couldnt say no when he went through all that.
If I had a mugshot, I would totally use it as my main picture on Tinder, just to keep it interesting.
You can't have your cake and publicly stick your dick in it too
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
He's a drill sergeant! The sadomasochist in me can't resist that.
That awkward moment when your drug dealer pulls your boss out of the snow
The closest thing I've had to an orgasm lately is sneezing nonstop from fucking allergies.
Optimism doesn't exist before 2pm nor do any other emotions.
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
Randomize
