honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
i had a dream the other night i was titty fucking you while you were asleep, then you woke up and didn't care.
So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
Just had a guy dressed only in a towel ask me for a cig, hug me and kiss me then proceeded to pee of the balcony while still talking to me and callin me baby
She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.
fun fact #6 about tuesday nights: giving head with two 40s taped to your hands is not as easy as you would think
Really? I thought your parents stopped loving you when you drunkenly fell through the ceiling...
Woke up with a text saying "when I get to see them titties again lil ma??" With 8 beads around my neck & an empty bottle of vodka in my arms.
We hooked up with 2 friends last night as always and she stole their fucking cocaine and I just had to drive to their house and make her give it back to him hahshshahahah only me
Right now, I'm sitting in my room, drinking beer, eating double stuff Oreos, taking bites straight from a block of cheese, and watching Anchor Man 2 trailers. Finals week at its finest
He did 5 five hand stand push ups and took off his shirt for a barbarian flex. Some girl took off her shirt and threw it at him
I just wanna go home jackoff, eat chicken fingers, drink beer, play halo and go to bed. I'm sick of this shitty school, the shitty kids and having to fucking teach them.
Randomize
