please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
between my moustache and how drunk I am it will be a miracle if I get laid tonight.
Tiger Woods should have just walked in, gave everyone a high five, and left.
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
i figure i've seen his cum stains on the floor, i'm allowed to say these things.
i have learned 4:30 is too early to start pregamming for the midnight harry potter
We just set the fire alarm off with a fog machine. What's my first instinct? Finish my drink. I think I handled that correctly.
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
I think anything that happens between 12 and 2 am is just sketchy enough to be a good idea.
okay we need to get tested.
no YOU need to get tested. I'm just going along for the ride.
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
And I got shut down by a ginger. It was a weird night
Too much dab too little lung dying šµšµšµ
My disney ticket is covered in lube, do you think they will accept it?
Randomize
