i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
My parents came down to check and make sure I wasn't into any mischief then proceeded to give me alcohol.
Come in. Grab a controller and a beer. We've got some Madden to beat.
You're the best girlfriend ever.
The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
Heads up. We filled your kiddie pool with kool-aid and vodka. Things are about to get Out. Of. Hand. Quickly.
It's so cute when the exchange student uses "blowjob" as a verb.
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
Brunch got away from me. I might be a little high.
I guess she was just worried I'd end up sleeping with you again
It's not too late to disappoint her you know...
I'm not sure what exactly you were planning, but you kept yelling that we were going to need a lot of midgets and a lawyer.
I told you, she may have multiple personality disorder, but like in the most upbeat way possible.
I think I just pulled an onion peel off my boob from sleeping on their kitchen floor
It's barely past noon, how am I already talking about double penetration
Whose dick am I looking at? There are too many possibilities at the moment.
I'm sorry I tried to spit drugs down your throat like a baby bird last night.
Randomize
