making cat noises will not fix the situation.
He did a double fist pump when he discovered the Magnums fit and skipped back towards the bed.
I just got an email from a bridal website with the subject "Countdown to your Wedding Day"... is 11AM too early to drink the rest of the wine we have?
Between the two of us weve fucked every guy at this table
I now have an ENTIRE drawer of unused disposable silverware from Boston Market... and you guys said I needed to "buy" kitchen stuff
No, this time she was diabetic. I think I fucked her into diabetic shock.
were you high?
When?
Actually just blanket yes to that question
What are you doing? Because if it happens to be drinking, or even any activity that rhymes with "drinking", I'll be over in 5.
If I come back tomorrow to find a certain football player tied up and locked in your closet, shit's gonna get real.
I'll set him free tomorrow morning ;)
mhmm. we know where to go, which places have free bathrooms, how long you can be in one until its sketchy, we have this down to a science. we're like the college sophomore pregaming dream team
I just rode a horse than walked onto my property in boarshorts, flip flops, and holding a 40. What do I win?
I woke up with what appeared to be LSD in my pocket. Know anything about this?
22 is way too old to still be having "thank god I think I'm getting my period" days
If he doesn't get here soon I'm taking off my thong and eating his dinner.
We need to find out what drug we took so we can take it everyday from here on out
Randomize
