Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
The kid in front of me is videochatting and typing to his gf. I should make poop/sex faces over his shoulder, right?
once the "do it" chant starts, any shot at an even remotely dignified party experience is dead.
good, we got high then went swimming. shelly forgot to keep swimming so we tied her to the ladder in the shallow part with her bikini top.
I just saw her take the entire bowl of lime wedges from the bar and pour them all in her purse, and now using the empty bowl as a hat. Waiting for security to come and throw her ass out.
Like I couldn't describe it to you but if they did a lineup of penises i'd be able to pick it out.
Cut a hole in the crotch of my onesie so we could have sex without me getting cold. Best decision of my life.
Dude I introduced the hot Russian girl to the hot Ukrainian girls. I am a UN ambassador
Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high
I woke up sandwiched between them, all of us naked, and they were just sharing a cigarette, a donut, and the paper like it was just some normal post-threesome Sunday brunch.
I need a present that says please like me even though i'm banging your grandson
I met her parents last night. Her dad smelled like weed and kept yelling "I HAVE ALLERGIES AHHH MY EYES ARE BURNING!" During dinner It had to be good weed he didn't even know he was yelling.
You're at a grade school volley ball game with a yeti of tequila. You've passed extra
Like honey no, I’m getting groceries while pretending that having sexy talk with you is turning me on
Randomize
