U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
i just woke up in the hallway. not my hallway. i officially raise my hand to be DD next week.
I managed to throw up 90 feet under water, just removed my breathing tube, puked, put it back in. All inclusive is the way to go.
I just passed on expense account drinking, this must be the worst hangover ever.
If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
I was expecting a blowjob when she shoved me in the bathroom but instead she shaved my pubes into a mustache for my penis. I am still satisfied.
Guy just came in wearing only shorts, on his hand was written - my name is ... Call ... And tell them where i am, thanx - in permanent marker, ordered his favorite dish, and left w/out touching it. It's snowing outside.
You need to stop me from lighting my hand on fire next time we're working
Lusting after Beyonce when you're a lesbian is like having a crush on Jesus. You just don't do it.
I started screaming "MY PARENTS ARE MORMON" at a stranger and promptly proceeded to run into a wall. How do you think it went?
I wish drunk me came with subtitles
Okay, new plan. Get drunk, eat breadsticks. It's going to be great.
250 people in this lecture & my prof asks who already drank green beer this morning& is drunk right now. I WAS THE ONLY ONE TO RAISE MY HAND
You got stoned and bought $300 worth of pudding. Again! Why do YOU think she left you?
Randomize
