I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
we were watching porn and trying to copy the position they were doing now i think my hip is dislocated
he left me a 6 minute video of him peeling a clementine listening to justin bieber
Just made a Mimosa with Chardonnay and Emergen-C.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Best dream ever last night. You moved here. Your Spanish name meant highway. Your favorite food was styrofoam.
He's just so adorable. And I don't want to fuck someone who's adorable.
I really have a thing for Greek chicks; I feel like while we are having sex she has the ability to make hummus which is just too appealing for me to pass up.
Why isn't there a super hero that comes to the aide of really high kids when they kill their car battery?
I kept having to give myself encouraging advice like, "you know how a path works"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Status: mom bitching about grandma not shutting the fuck up, while not shutting the fuck up. Dear Jesus give me strength or more bourbon.
My booty call made my bed while I was in the shower. I may have to marry him.
I seriously thought Satan had his hand up my asshole and was pulling out my soul. Never. Again.
Why is the turtle in the toilet again?
Well as I was puking in the tub I put him in there to keep me company but I am almost positive the original setup was him in the tub and me next to the toilet...I hope he likes tequila
Never joke about your clitoris.
Just bought 2 liters of wine and frozen waffles for dinner. Is this 30?
Randomize