No, we ended up finding him drunk at a bus stop downtown sitting on the bench asking people for chocolates and amazing stories to "rid his mind of his whore of a girlfriend"
maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
I woke up at 5 this morning face down on my bed with gummy bears stuffed in my leggings. Yeah.
I'm cooking a can of baked beans on the baseboard heater. It is too early in the semester to be this poor.
You should never talk to him again. Unless its you knocking on the door and punching his dick.
I am so hung over a medically induced coma is beginning to sound appealing.
Everything smells like vodka and bologna. WHAT DID YOU DO?
Your dress got me laid by one of Obama's Secret Service members. Patriotic duty, check.
Too many penises have met your hands. Stop or die.
I WAS CONCIEVED IN THE BACK OF MY CAR. THATS HOW OLD THIS CAR IS.
...how and why.
PARENTS ARE MAGIC.
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
Like, she can be the shepard of the gays. Delivering him unto homosexuality.
I lost my bra at his grandma's house so there's that.
I've done dumber things than this for flimsier reasons. Come with. If I pull it off I need a witness, and if I fail I need an escape plan.
I’m literally watching say yes to the dress, eating fancy cheeses with crackers, and I have orange dark chocolates. All of which is being washed down with merlot. And I’m 100% sure a porno is gonna go down next door tonight. They don’t have a car and arrived via taxi. Happy holidays from motel 6 Pendleton Oregon!
Randomize
