I'm totally counting that party when he kept putting his hands down my pants as a date.
so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
I put the beer in my little red riding hood basket.
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
i've got to stop sleeping with short guys. they always turn into stage 5 clingers
I fell asleep to the sounds of them banging in the next room. It was oddly soothing...
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
i was beyond wasted so he tucked me into bed and wrapped the blankets around me like a burrito. then gave me a bloody mary and an omlet when i woke up. and who says living with your cousin is a bad thing?!
Oh no, we smoked the revival weed. It came in a Batman bag. It hit like justice. And orphans.
easter 2014 is on 4/20 THIS IS NOT A DRILL YOUR FAMILY WILL EXPECT YOU TO BE HOME AND SOBER I REPEAT THIS IS NOT A DRILL
Somewhere in this city is a lost rubber penis that needs to find its way back home
i wore a power symbol belly button ring just so i can drunkenly tell him that he turns me on. i dont care if it works i think its classy
I just got baptized.
Drunkenly skinny dipping in a indoor hotel pool is not okay and does not count as a baptism.
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
He literally asked permission to hit on me
Randomize
