would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
atleast your grandma didn't give you her USED dildo just so you wouldn't have sex.
Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
I feel like someone was just looking at my memory and took out an eraser and was like "nope he doesnt need that"
Just getting around to doing laundry. Jesus there's a lot of blood on my birthday dress.
He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
So you used a whole package of smoked meat last night. Didn't eat it, just took it out and put it all over the fridge.
So i'm in a museum and theres a punch bowl from 1765 with a picture of 3 men forcing the 4th to drink the punch bowl. Colonial hazing
Asking him not to sleep with other girls is like asking me not to have my period apparently
Its the least I can do really, I mean, I did sleep with her husband...
You chest bumped everyone we walked by on the way home... Even girls
You told me that you were mad me because I wouldn't let you 'explore my castle'. Then you said I smelled like a hospital and passed out.
So I just crossed my legs and I was like what is this lump on my leg? Oooh its my underwear from last time I wore these jeans...
I'm high, watching "Scream" and eating a grilled cheese sandwich off my boobs. I'm not going anywhere
Come on, clusterfuck. Put on a pushup bra and get your fine ass to the bar, or you will be a sad single stoner forever
The alcohol tastes like we did a beer run at the nail salon
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