some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
she then came into the room and yelled I'M GOING TO BE A COCK BLOCK for 5 minutes
Just scheduled a cocaine deal around my drug counsler appointment. Why yes, thank you, I do enjoy the irony that is my life.
So i told him he was the 3rd i have ever slept with and then i found out he had actually slept with 5 other girls besides me. And his reply was well your number one on this hand.
somedays, I wish the drugs you give me would convince me they were a bad idea preingestion.
where's the fun in that?
If I should ask "why am I still single?" could someone please remind me of shooting mike and ikes out of my nose at the bartender last Saturday. many thanks
It was like an alcohol war zone and you left a soldier behind.
I don't know what to be prouder of: the fact that last night i was able to successfully find my way home from evanston with 3-d glasses on, or that i was able to make my way around my house in the dark with my pants around my ankles
Again??? Now we can't ever fucking go there again STOP PEEING IN FOYERS
I just got invited to party with a bunch of elderly lesbians I am in no position to offer life advice
I resisted the urge to announce that it looks like a big crystal butt plug
Owwwww. Yeah. I can barely move unless Im high on vicodin. We are bad at drinking/balancing. We will be the first to break hips and have to go into a home.
going on a mission to find my pants and the guy who stole my beer don't wait up
I think Jabba the Hut is dying in the stall next to me.
Hahaha perfect. Let's start stopping drinking tomorrow
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