Gordon Ramsey's restaurant in NY is $150 each for the chef's menu
So you're taking me there this weekend?
oh, looks like he just opened a new restaurant right by us- it's called "McDonald's". Must be scottish food.
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
After I saw you grinding on that guy with your shirt completely unbuttoned, I figured it was time for pizza.
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
This Xanax laced vodka tonic will help me forget that all these spring breakers are all young enough to have been my students.
he convinced me that i wont have to do the walk of shame bc he has to go to jail in the morning
He was visibly upset that you'd rather eat nachos than have sex with him.
Show him your tits if he says no
They're not help-me-out-of-jams tits. They're I-fake-people-into-thinking-they-look-good tits.
You told the cop at mobil to keep it real and look both ways before crossing the street.
To my ex and my favorite mistake: I totally enjoyed hearing you have erectile disfunction via baby monitor!
There's a dead squirrel in the freezer. Is that what you stopped to get out of the road last night?
So last night I turned down multiple drinks because "I didn't want to hold them". It's time reevaluate my decisions
Last year I got a dildo in the mail on my birthday. Today it was just a credit card bill. Sadface.
The last time I saw you you got angry and yelled "WHISKEY DOESNT COUNT" ... I think that's at least a 7 on the hotmess scale.
He's asking how tall I am he wants to make a body suit out of me
Randomize
