Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
I wish you got a notification every time someone masturbated to a Facebook picture of you...
Ya I guess he's not a bad roommate. I mean if he wasn't here I would probably be more lazy and pee in bottles and stuff.
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
She was like the Rudy of blow jobs... SO much effort into it
You thought your socks were broken. They were just inside out.
I think I'm still drunk and I think you were in my dream (sadly, it was not a sexual bill murray one).
Well at least you learned that cops don't like when you call them frenchy. Nice dive over the fence by the way.
I haven't been hungover in so long I'm actually looking forward to it
He fucked me so hard my nail polish actually chipped. I'm keeping him.
Why is there multiple peanut butter and toasts stuck to the fridge door?
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.
You were licking skittles to check if they were "halucinateizers" so no, you are not leaving the house while on antibiotics.
I stared at his dick and then told him to get on his knees
Let's just face it you're going to have an arrangement with your future wife your fuck me on Thursdays
Randomize
