Want any specific kind of beer?
Yeah. Alcohol flavor.
Got it. Anything but Miller.
He puts stickers to promote his new shirt company in every sack he sells. He's like the donald trump of weed
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
KEG. KEG. THE OPERA HAS A KEG. KEG STAND IN A TUX. AFTER PARTY RAVE AND KEG STANDS.
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
We have so much sex to catch up on
If you are breathing, I want you at your house. No non-breathing-related excuses.
I appear to have wine on my toes. I am really not clear as to how this happened. I'm gonna have a little lie down.
NO BABIES. YOUR VAGINA WILL BLEED WITHIN A FORTNIGHT.
Well just saw that professor I hooked up with on campus and I look like a dumpster baby
I had to put my dog down, accidentally outed my brother, and was given a fucking fish sandwich instead of a Big Mac ALL IN ONE DAY! Am I really the person you want to consult for advice? Hhhmmmmmm?
He was cute in a Sketchy-trying-to-sell-you-a-vaccum-at-9-at-night kinda way.
Just had the biggest masturbatory crisis ever.
What does that mean?
Internet is down.
And to be clear I have only watched porn like 3 times at work
Randomize
