can you please tell me why I'm bleeding so heavily from my ass and all my makeup is gone?
Just took a final in the room where I lost my virginity. I think it was god luck.
America approved of our night. A bald eagle flew over us at 7am
Apparently "he pulled out..mostly" is not a valid reason for thinking there's no way i can be pregnant to the nurses at the student health center.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
went thru the pain of a Brazilian and he's passed the fuck out while i eat Doritos and watch tbs. fuck married life i want out
I got eye-fucked by an 80 year old man wearing a cowboy hat while I was singing country. How do you think karaoke went?
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
My vagina needs her own mother sometimes.
She knocked me and my drink to the ground with her ass. I have never been mad at someone for having a glorious booty.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And the 'kicked out of Xmas party' trophy goes to me. 3rd nomination, first win.
Stoned. Scared. Bring pool noodle and onion rings.
We keep making plans but he keeps getting arrested. Such a tease
Reminder to self: never have sex on a trampoline. Trampoline burn hurts worse than carpet burn.
Those brownies did us in. I honestly blacked out completely.
What brownies? Ohmygod.
Can you cover for me after lunch? I’ve never seen a guy who cums as much as my new Side Dick so now I need to clean the house before my husband gets home
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