I always see him when I'm wearing my ripped pants. I think its because of the hole in the crotch. My vag sends out supersonic "I'm horny" waves to him. Otherwise the calls are muffled.
Who is John, and why is his named carved into our toilet?
apparently you can't crawl through the drive-thru window
please dont ever try to drink horizontally again. I thought I was going to have to give you cpr
Brought 2 entire pizzas with to the bar, everyone loves us
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
He left his shoes, boxers and socks at my house & managed to walk home to his dorm without realizing anything was missing until 3 days after. That's the last time i'll ever hook up with a freshman.
I AM TEN TEQUIA SHOOTS ON AND I JUST SAW SOMEONE DO A BODY SHOT OFFF OF JESUS
THIS FEELS SO WROG AND OH SO RIGHT
I refrained from asking a guy what he spilled on his dick because it smelled good. Morals.
It's called being normal.
you were like "guys ... i think i got fingered while dancing tonight"
our poor poor cab driver
I want a MapMyFart App, where I can mark every spot where I have ripped one. Like here.
So high I started thinking my desktop picture of a cat was too erotic for the workplace.
This is the guy I made out with and it made me think of my dad. Let's never talk about it again.
Never has jello made me angry to the point of drinking. But here I am.
If I hear you use the phrase "silky soft scrotum" one more time I swear to God you'll regret it
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