Duck Duck Cougar?
Be careful down there, Shane may have pooped on the carpet.
a fat lady just tried to bring a cooler stuffed full with burger kid through airport security. christ I'm going to miss the midwest.
if you really think there are plastic pots safe for the stove i fear for your future landlords.
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
I forgot to tell you thank you for putting me out when I was on fire. im sure I'll laught about this someday...
I have effectively turned laundry day into a drinking game.
After i finished him. He goes "youre a champion"... Then whispers "forever"
After my mom met Tanner, she literally turned and said "he's from old money, top of his class at Emory, already has doctors courting him for jobs and judging from your vocal performance the other night, he's gifted in bed. Fake a pregnancy right now"
I come from her. Holy hell.
Drunken snow shoveling. Visiting my family is starting to become a seriously risky venture.
YOUR TITS WERE ON THE TABLE.
Hold on... Are we having an intellectual conversation about porn?
Yup
I love us.
There were 7 of us cowering in the kitchen because you were swinging a giant, pink double headed dildo around like a nunchuk and hitting anyone who came near you with it.
i fucked his best friend. once right next door to him. i'm pretty sure that could be called sweet revenge.
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
Randomize
