Dude, this place has 10% alcohol beer on tap. It's like God's semen.
Three questions. How does a tomato drive a car, how does an asparagus play a guitar, and how am I still so high that I chose to watch Veggie Tales?
mom and dad are leaving for florida on 4/20, this is a sign
I feel like I should I write an apology note to the frat for falling down stairs, passing out on the couch, and chugging the entire bottle of burnetts at semiforml last weekend. Apparently I was the main topic of discussion at their chapter meeting last night.
Dude, at this rate we're going to get arrested a second time tonight.
Had her hockey skates on in the house. Whole floor is ruined.
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
welp wont be popping out a kid with a beret. frenchie is gone and the mother nature showed herself. bilingual kid can be erased from the bucket list
What kind of a birthday party isn't a get drunk and ruin everything party
Bathroom attendant appreciated that hug I have him as a tip. Fucking BROKE these days.
You decided that walking wasn't in the cards for you anymore
I woke up to a shattered My Little Pony garbage pail, a black eye I don't know how I got and no one will look me in the face. Fuck tequila.
The problem with having a roommate is that you are forced to answer the age old question "Are you okay?"
I have a 30 minute video visit blind date tonight with a guy in prison. And it's costing me $9. ROCK... BOTTOM...
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