K I think ***** turned off her phone. Guess I can't make her feel any more miserable tonight so I'm goin to sleep
I blacked out in 45 minutes and woke up with a missed call from someone I saved in my phone as the karate kid.
I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
Well. I have your keys. You have my car. Looks like we have a drunkxican standoff.
I'm cool with a hey old buddy how have you been want to fuck me in the butt kind of thing
It gives me purpose in life to help fulfill nerdy fantasies. Like I'm doing something good for mankind and having multiple orgasms in the process.
He said we would have a beautiful daughter together. That way too much for a one night stand...
I fucked some frat guy. Then I found my brother after and made him take his shirt off and then I made him tell me he loves me
You're dick is like the main character. It needs its own picture.
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
Were you citizens arresting people again last night?
Morning fuck and a coffee. ARE YOU READY TO CONQUER THE GALAXY WITH ME??
i had every intention of working out now im just drinking wine and thinking about taking nudes in my thigh high tube socks
I think the cats may be lesbians. It could just be a two hour mutual bath but it sure looks like a 69.
Randomize
