Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
I dont abuse you, i just hit you while we have sex
Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
i called him pencil dick in front of over half of his fraternity brothers...
...never gotten so many high fives in my life! fuck ya i win!
fuck you guys, stop putting fake babies in my car the cops came again.
I'm honestly too sad to drink and hang out with strippers. This breakup sucks.
He threw up in a cup in the limo and when he got out the bouncer told him he couldn't bring drinks in so he gave the glass to that dumb girl we brought with us from c street.
I know, she tried to drink it
We need to go back to the barter system so I can sell my body and just be done with it.
I'm sober. Being kissed by a chick with a llama puppet. Shoot me now.
bro i dont care how hot she was, you try keeping it up with the amount of puppet he had in her room, it was like fucking in jeff dunham's house
My ideal friend would be my dog as a drug dealer
My whole house smells like Spaghetti-Os and cat litter. I think I've failed as an adult.
I THINK it was the lead singer. Whoever he was, I have his number and his dick was pierced.
It was totally the lead singer.
He fell into the beer pong table and broke it. Then he threatened to throw the toliet at us if we didn't let him keep playing
OHMYGOD YOU REALLY THINK I'D BE ON OPRAH?!
Randomize
