I think condoms have that nasty latex smell to remind you in the morning of how gross you are.
I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
you were drinking a pitcher of what you called "16 loko" and making everybody guess what the secret ingredient was
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
captain&coke to the library. STAT. this is an emergency. this is not a drill. I repeat: THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I didn't think about how painful the pumpkin seeds coming up the next morning would be. Oh well, I'm good at making pumpkin seeds and that's all that matters.
He fucked a girl named Oreo... He deserved syphilis.
whenever he tweets that he wants to get blackout it's like a neon sign for "i want to bang you tonight"
Going to the bathroom drunk while wearing overalls is such a struggle
you gave a quesadilla a blow job with sour cream at Denny's.
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
He finger blasted me like an angel dude
Fuck you bitch. You're married. You got a live-in dick at home for your needs. I still gotta surf this shitty town's bars for cock
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