hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
Just bored and untired. I want to be in Austin. At college. Drinking someone elses alcohol. Am I asking too much of life?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he's been in the country 4 hours and we just did it in the closet. he called me "miss flirtatious in the cupboard." i'm in love.
So there I was.....spitting on my goldfish just to keep it alive.
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
I'll probably just close my eyes and point to a random name. That will be my vote.
I just realised how much we're failing the women's suffrage movement right now.
I raided the fridge drunk the same time dad was eating breakfast
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sending emails to my new boss whilst unable to move from the toilet seat because of alcohol. Great start to a new job as a school counselor.
while he was teaching, every time he said "wet" he would look at me, that's what you get for sleeping with the professor's assistant
Have you ever looked death in the face and have the urge to shit yourself. I'm in that situation right now.
Yes, bail money means jail. It also means lie to dad, do it now.
Yea it's also hard to turn down a man asking you out with a chicken sandwich.
How to not get laid: tell him he reminds you of your brother. While having sex. Thanks, vodka.
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