If immigrants and dwarves find love, why can't I?
You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
People are handing out olympic condoms downtown, just put it on and it broke, this is how there trying to raise the population. Very sneaky canadian government, very sneaky
I don't know what you drank last night but you really enjoyed the 4 egg body shots.
you kept telling her you'd make a great step-dad while cuddling her and rubbing her back...
I'm drinking too much free beer
Thats like saying one owns too many kittens. It's not possible.
You would be too ashamed to ever love me again if you saw the filth I just created. It brings unspeakable dishonor to the nacho dynasty. Like I raped the king's daughter, cut off her hands and made him eat them that's how hard I fucked up nachos.
Dude you missed it. This guy in the liquor store knocked over a whole display of 5 hour energy with his face.
She was purple for Halloween. She literally spray-painted herself purple and called it a costume. It won't come off.
It was a fight. Me vs nature and drunkenness. And nature won. Big time.
If he cant deal with my insomnia and sex drive I really feel sorry for his child and ex fiance. Adulthood breakups are depressing.
6 more days and it'll be a year since i slept with him and never went home
He struggled for a second trying to unhook my bra and I said "4/10. Novice."
i woke up in just my thong, face first on my bed with all the lights on. how hungover do you think i felt?
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