plz talk dirty to me
The guy I was getting with last night took off his purity ring mid-sex and threw it across the room.
we are learning about oedipus in english. fuck you for making this awkward for me
I'm like 99% sure I made out with Kevin Spacey last night. Not good.
Just an fyi, teatherball while wasted might be the hardest sport ever.
ONE NIGHT STAND. You have 27 minutes before the offer expires, so I suggest you hurry.
They said an hour before I even see a doctor...and they noticed the shots tally on my arm.
Text me when you wake up so I know you're ok. It's really worrisome to get home at this hour and find 3 men passed out in my room but no you. Love you, goodnight. :-)
He tied me to the bed, fucked me and left me tied up until he proved to his room mates that he actually fucked me. But other than that, best sex ever!
your life is not complete until you watch a gaggle of murderous clowns dance to gangnam style.
also, what is the correct term for a shit ton of clowns?
I see the guy who's been trying to get me to let him eat my ass became engaged on Facebook today; would framed screen shots be an appropriate wedding present?
I got horny for like a second but the eggplant snapped me out of it
I just chased my hot mailman down the street to ask him out and now I am 98% positive he gave me a fake number.
You walked in on us hooking up, hugged me, high fived him and unhooked my bra.. You claimed to be helping
I was eating pickles straight from a jar, contemplating doing something productive. What did I miss?
Randomize
