i'm sleeping with myself tonight because i remember my name and i won't regret it in the morning. sorry.
haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
i just saw a woman using her birth control packet as a wallet.
Apparently shes in the bathroom puking but eating a pot roast she found in the fridge at the same time.
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
sitting on the counter. eating honey. crying, because coldplay sounds beautiful on the radio. highhhhh as the sky
There r osticjed everywhere
What an age we live in that I can try to pick up a guy by using my phone while I'm taking a shit at work.
It was a perpetual wrestle for who got to be on bottom. Laziest hookup ever.
MESSY REBOUND SEX HERE I COME! Time to start stretching to fit in my back seat again ...
You started pulling out condoms from your fanny pack and threw them at all the couples on the beach
how early is too early to start drinking over the gilmore girls revival
you made it your goal to puke in every planter around the union. you got most of them. im proud of you
I dont know if hes kidding... but hes drunk and said hes going to shave his balls. Alert your emt friends
Randomize
