We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
I left the party when things started to get crazy... and when I say crazy I mean: there was puke on the carpet, Evan was passed out behind a plant, Mary was making out with her ex while her present bf was making out with Nancy. Not to mention that someone fisted the wall. Also - someone is sleeping on your lawn - they might be dead, I didn't check. Later.
The girl I was getting head from just called my dick an anteater...I hate my parents for not cutting my cock tip off.
Your clothes are in washers 2,3 and 4. I arranged by darks, whites, then frat... I'm not even joking
I cant even remember his name or what he looked like. all I remember is what the tattoo on his forearm looked like.
well, he kindof looked like a walmart greeter. I tried to stop you
Pretty sure even her dog was surprised when I got that blow job.
Can you please tell him to stop calling me ma'am? I'm starting to remember what it's like to have self respect
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
Okay, who took a picture of their pubes shaved into a dragon on my phone and made it the background?!
Just left the frat house in last nights clothes minus my earings, shoes, underware, tequilla cap, and my dignity. If you see me on your way home just hit me
It would just be icing on the fucked up cake we're baking, if he got me pregnant.
We could make it cute. Like "oh those two cute lesbians who are about five foot two who sell the cocaine down the street. You know the ones? With the Yorkies?"
My tuesday consisted of speaking to a federal agent for two hours and watching a roving band of gypsies jump over a fire until 2:30am
I arrived home at 7am wearing nothing but my underwear and a fedora. I ate half a dozen deviled eggs. Put Katy Perry on repeat. And cried myself to sleep. We cannot go out on Thursday anymore
Probably yeah. I mean maybe one day we can be those friends that hang out naked. Not awkard at all.
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