She is my favorite of all the girls you have fucked. Other than me.
The freshman came home at 9 this morning with one heel, no pants, and a strangers sweatshirt covered in tequila-scented vomit. I think we're done corrupting her for a while.
Why do I feel like I'm not the only one drinking to make my night class teacher look better?
Dude your neighbors are having a garage sale. They were judging me as I walk of shamed back to my car.
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
Lol. Awesome. Seriously though, I need you focused next year. We're gone have a lot of drinking and stupid nonsense to do, and I don't want dumb shit like responsibility to get in my fucking way.
That ACT prep teacher knew i was hung. I could see it in her eyes.
I sent him an 18 page sext. He's going to have a good morning.
Aside from the possibility of pregnancy, I'm going to call last night a raging success.
Hooked up with a guy that looked like Dean Thomas. Mediocre at best, but I stopped myself from calling him Dean in bed. So I got that going for me.
Henceforth: booty calls will now be referred to as "deliveries of anatomy". That is all.
I'm sure nobody at Walmart was wondering why I was wearing a glittery tutu and needed $300 changed into small bills
I CALLED IT A FRIENDSHIP. NOT A I WANT YOUR MAN PARTS IN MY LADY PARTS-SHIP.
My liver needs me to go back to work asap.
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
Randomize
