she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
you ate skittles off the table like a hungry hungry hippo. it was awesome.
I just did my online traffic school at the bar. No biggie.
Sunscreen. In my vag. I hate summer sex.
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
I just found a bag of teeth...
Did you ever stop and think that god invented whiskey dick specifically for me
I probably looked like a mental patient. I had my IV in one hand and cup of pee in the other, swaying around with a dazed grin on my face. I love vicodin.
I feel like ass. I'm missing 12 hours of my life and all I have to show for it is an empty wendys bag. Those Shrooms were too much... When do we do it again?
I was basically shocked at how calmly you accepted my violently shoving a french fry in your mouth.
You and your vagina are hellbent on selfdestruction and bad decisions
Dude...can we put that on a tshirt? I will totally sport that shit.
There's a whistle here and I just want to play my whistle song on it.
The last thing I remember about last night was guzzling white zinfandel out of the box and eating cheese. And I was thinking OH YOU FANCY HUHHH
i spent my Thursday drinking before noon and not wearing pants
So it turns out high me is very efficient. I set 5 alarms to remind me to do things, i made mac and cheese, and i wrote a poem. I'm going places.
Randomize
