I have a walk of shame I should be getting to. "Hey, by the way, what is your name?" is not a conversation I want to have today
ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
I checked for jungle juice on Weight Watchers. they didn't have it.
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
burritoes are like sleeping bags for ground beef
I dont know why people are racist. Both the mexicans and the irish gave us holidays where everyone drinks on a wednesday.
There are flashing lights and a man dressed as Santa with a bullhorn in my cul de sac.
I'm not sure if this is awesome or scary.
Day #3 of being the only sober person at the bar. This is depression.
From now on I forbid you to refer to it as a "bed". From now on you must only use the phrase "sex wagon".
I am in his childhood bedroom and I feel like his trophies are applauding me and his stuffed bunny is disgusted with me. Did you know he was a mathlete?
How about this: I support you through your miserable marriage, and you support me through all my anonymous sex?
I hope I didn’t eat too many edibles just now. I got shit to do today. Like make Jell-O shots and take a shower.
How did people get blow jobs before text messaging?
You had a good week dude, you bought a motorcycle and a beer bong with ur parents money, missed 2 classes, and ran from security twice, good first 2 days to college
I mean, he’s listed as “Andrew DC Threesome” in my phone. THATS HOW I REMEMBER HIM! How is that not the start of a fairytale?
Randomize
