It's more exciting when they aren't single....and even better when you have to pretend that you just slept with their roommate while trying to do the walk a shame as their girlfriend comes marching into the apt.
Im not the least bit jealous of the life you lead.
got arrested for "breaking and entering" last night when i supposedly went into the wrong house made a sandwich and tried jerking off to porn on the tv...the cops told me they came in while my dick was out...oh and i missed work this morning and got fired
You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
Just found out my drug dealer is also a porn star. It's a good day.
it's like doing a sit-up... but, you're inside someone
How can you turn a kayak date down? I'M TALKING RIVER HEAD HERE.
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
I let my daddy issue flag fly free last night.
She told me she's into girls now. I told her there would be a full bottle of jäger and an empty bed here Friday.
She tackled him mid-puke while the other two were cutting up a $60 dildo with a kitchen knife and putting the pieces in a Corona bottle.
You ran through a field yelling "I'm frolicking! I'm frolicking!" Then fell on your face. How is your nose today, doll?
Ethically, this is the worst thing I've ever done. Financially, however...
You were in the girls bathroom yelling at some random chick because you thought she stole all the urinals. That's why you were kicked out.
It was a strange night. I made out with his college roommate and said "do you care?" beforehand.
I don't actually like you. I just want to hook up with you.
I'm fine with that
Randomize