SEEEEXXX PLEASE
I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
this is the second time this summer that a girl has called me a ken dol
you shouldn't let them see you without your pants on
i just ate two sandwiches and am debating booty calling my landlord
you should give me head with plastic fangs in
he had his head down and said he was listening for the buffalo, he had to still be drunk.
Stop giving guys blow jobs because you're no good and it's messing up my sex life. Word gets around & then they think it's me and don't believe me when I say I have a twin. Learn to stuck dick right.
I'm sure it's not the worst thing to ever come out of my ass
They invented a new game at work. Its called guess if I'm baked, hungover, drunk, or some combination of the three. Its surprisingly very difficult..
I just came so hard my hamstring felt like it was going to tear. I am also now a screamer
What guy invites over a booty call, gets all naked and then when the real fun begins and a condom is needed, claims to not have one? And wears socks THE entire time?
Why am I cleaning the house twerking to anaconda wearing a bears jersey and helmet?
But don't thank me for faking being asleep, if I was the real wing man, I would have left the bed
No. We can't get pedicures until my toenails grow back.
dude the dog literally grabbed the condom out of the trash can and threw it in the air i'm screaming
Randomize
