Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE
he ruins everything I try to do including his roommates
Just got a message from a guy on a dating site who says he helped me remove lime pulp from my eye in a club toilet 2 weeks ago.
i DID try to find you last night. i asked where you were and you texted me the letter "e" and a picture of the dark.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I got to find out the airplane alcohol limit, and somehow I made it through the flight.
I can taunt you with whatever I want. Like batman and sex.
They are stoned and trying to learn sign language together. It's like watching a chimp waving at itself in a mirror.
You were so high that you only FaceTimed me so that you could stare into your own eyes and not actually say anything
There can only be one screw up per family and I was here first. Get your shit together bro
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
if becoming an adult is chugging a bottle of wine in your bed and crying about your stresses while your dog watches you, sign me up
we got cupcakes after we fucked. gives a whole new meaning to sugar daddy
His girlfriend left him for the pizza guy. I am not fucking kidding.
Vodka, rum, moonshine, I don't care, just bring like 5gallons.
She just walked out of her bedroom naked and asked me to help put her diaper on. Yeah, that pretty much sums up the last 24 hours...
Yeah I'm just gonna stay here and spread my horniness to the world.
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