Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
My mom caught just caught me jerking off...in her room.
I wish life had little blips of pornography
Just threw up in nordstroms while shopping for moms bday with dad. He distracted workers for me. No more tequila
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
i'm already feeling the tequila hangover i'm going to have on friday
I've been alternating between telling people I was mauled by a bear or hit by a car to explain the massive unexplainable bruise on my leg. Slightly more worried now that the car idea is believable.
all i remember is him tryin to explain to the girls how to effectively hit the strip club with their bfs
hes actually pretty persuasive when he drinks
I'm doing lines by myself in the kitchen. I think your outside. yeah that's you. your naked.
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
Did you high five my face last night?
Yes. Yes I did.
Happy Halloween!! Last Halloween we spent together you got brought home in a shopping cart
We went camping and met these lesbians and now I have S'mores where there shouldn't be S'mores.
He's got a british accent, a tounge ring, and he's wearing an eye patch... Of corse I'm fucking him
if you want the landscaping job, the uniform is a speedo. no exceptions.
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