im gay
i know
yea but for you.
Would you like me to write a persuasive essay on how you should let me suck your dick?
I just smoked my last bit of kief with a grill lighter. This is what crackheads must feel like.
In the ER. 2nd degree burns. Drunken attempt to make gasoline scented candles.
i just saw you make out with a girl with facial hair...just thought i would document that in case you forgot
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
my roommate had a few special brownies and wrapped my purse and one of my shoes and left them under the tree for me...
BUT I think maybe Thursday in celebration of America we should probably tan and see how fast we can finish everything in the liquor cabinet.
I fell in the river last night. The allegheny to be exact. Omg getting drunk at work gatherings is dangerous
It's Christmas, you should know what a virgin is.
Somehow I just turned an entire McDonald's bag upside down in my car and not a single fry fell out. The Lord really does work in mysterious ways.
She said she was sorry for rolling around in her own vomit. Honestly, I thought it really added to the party.
You’re sleeping on my couch so you’re not making dick appointments tonight
try to milk me bitch
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
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