Just saw a midget shotgun a coors light
The girl I brought home was really impressed with the pile of blow you were doing while watching "Intervention."
I just had to explain to my father, how having two screens plugged into my computer doesn't use more internet.
a cemetary is a place for people to rest in peace and you just spermed all over their land
day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome.
She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air.
You stood up gave the stripper 15 ones in a wad, hugged her and then sat back down.
The last thing I remember is your grandma calling me a pussy and taking my shot for me. Your family is awesome.
I hate him and his pretentious your-sleeping-in-the-wet-spot look.
No exaggeration. At the gas station she handed me the mop from over the counter and told me that's my last drink of the night
I would fuck him In a heartbeat, an obese child running up stairs with an irregular heartbeat, heartbeat.
Nick is about to bring home a woman who is 39, a mother, and, by all accounts, FUCKING HOMELESS. Will update as details become available.
I swear I can't go out anymore. It's like he put a GPS in my dick. I don't know if I should feel awkward or proud...
It would be awesome if I knew whose teeth these were in my pocket
I wish I may, I wish I might, get some daddy dick tonight
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