She told me she only masterbates to Kenny Rogers songs.
OMG. What did u say?
I told her I did too.
In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
No, drunk sperm still make babies.
why does the wii remote smell like your vag?
There are too many people on this bus for it to be even REMOTELY okay that I'm wearing a puke covered sweater
Maybe STDs were invented to keep stupid people from having kids.
No seriously stop! I feel bad for him. It isn't even big enough to make fun of. It's so small that it's like a disability.
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
No one likes a giant penis on their phone screen. I mean cmon. I'm a lady.
Bro if you don't text me back I'm gonna send you a picture of my nut sack every ten seconds for the rest of the night. I'm home alone with nothing to do. Don't push me.
I woke up and found piles of popcorn in a trail around my house, ending at a laundry basket full of pillows. What were we trying to catch last night?
Being home for break is weird, just had a full convo with my dad about what I wanted for dinner, while a dildo was on top of me under my comforter
She just kept feeding people pretzels and sayying "You're such a good goldfish."
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
Randomize
