well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
there is a homeless man oan crack poledancing on a fence... now hes humping it...
good penises are hard to come by.... must be the economy...
I just got a 45 minute blow job...she literally sucked the single life outta me.
u sound so gay right now
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ohhh. Its been awhile. Vending machine hotel condoms are $15 here who can afford to not get herpes?
By "met a doctor" I really mean "fucked a pre med student"
Someone want to explain the bottle of ranch I found in my pants
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO GET MY FUCKING CUPCAKES WHEN THE GROUNDSWORKER I HOOKED UP WITH IS LOITERING IN THE VENDING AREA
I chugged that bitch with a dip in.
You somehow managed to be a man whilst drinking a Mike's Hard. I commend you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hi I haven't talked to you since you bought legal marijuana-are you still stoned?
If my birthday doesn't end with my panties hanging from a ceiling fan, I'm holding you responsible.
Idk I'm drinking Sam Adams and wearing new balances so I'm basically a dad
I almost stopped mid bj to let him know I appreciated his balls being nice to look at/have my face near. But I didn't know if that would ruin, or improve the moment.
I just found your shirt hanging in a tree 4 blocks from the party...in the opposite direction of your house. where are you going?
This is why I can't take dates to shows... I've literally made out with everyone in this band. And two of the guys in the crowd. And the bartender.
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