I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
Yaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy! It has more than one y so my intentions to sleep with you after the drink special ends are clear
Tell me again why I left before the topless cake fight
I don't want a mention or even a whisper of a Shakespeare Festival by that or any other name including, but not limited to, a fucking Renaissance Fair. Are we clear? It will be a DEALBREAKER .
i just called my dad a bottom. he agreed
I can tell right now that knowing you will either be really fun or ruin my life
I was so hungover at work I had my shirt on backwards. I had no idea how I managed to get through today puke free.
When the bouncer wouldn't let you back in you screamed "Authority is not given you to deny the return of the king!" and ran past him.
He totally fucked me in his Chewbacca socks
Hey, sorry I choked you last night... I was just really excited to see you.
I collect Covid conspiracy theories like I collect Pokemon.
Never in my life did I expect to see Eric's mom in a cheerleader outfit along with other women
BRB. These cougars are squabbling over my junk and one of them is offering to pay my tuition
Randomize
