...and all my boxers are outside in the snow because????
my 3 favorite things in life are tequila, dicks, and making sandwiches. that DOES NOT make me a bad person.
He just lit his joint with the tiki torches around his pool. He is definitely coming to my future parties
Oh my God. He stopped counting at 22.. His senior year. I feel the STDs infecting my taint as we speak.
wait, how does the 20 year old one night stand pregnant girl have a superiority complex?
Apparently I made a stripper cry last night when I paid her $10 to go away
He's both a cowboy and a firefighter. Saying "no" was not an option.
Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
Just rolled up to a matinee showing of THE HOBBIT. At the dollar theater. Alone. In sweats. With a fifth of sunnybrook and leftover pizza in a ziplock. There's a dude here in cape with his elderly mother. I'm handling this breakup FIIIIIINE.
He's practically not my boyfriend anymore. So let's go get some glitter, balloons, alcohol and forget this night ever happened.
Is 1:30 too early for the bar?
Do you want my opinion or society's?
I want your company
After we finished having sex, he drunkenly tried to hugh five me, farted, then accused me of stealing his socks.
Anyone who can sit 4 hours in a doobie circle with their feet in a kiddie pool is ok by me
dude can you explain to me why i woke up on your sisters floor with moutain dew and chips everywhere
i dont know im at your house.
I need you to sex the hangover out of me again.
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