Pants 0. Shit 1.
What are these yellow papers in the kitchen?
These are the tickets we got last night.
Did i sign this one as Grizzly Bear?
Yes...yes you did.
he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
I'm at the store buying plan b and vodka
the cocktail of hope
When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change.
I call biggest shit show at the party. I welcome all challengers.
Ummm I just broke my no puke streak at church
seriously. next time...underwear. I'm not spending any other holiday season wondering if it'll be my last babyless one.
I told him he was probably the first guy to get fucked while wearing Star Wars pyjamas.
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
Matt. This is the manager of qdoba. Pick up the phone. Your friend needs you.
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
Of course I'm going to see her again. She had waterproof handcuffs in her shower.
i puked in a jesus candle last night and then denied it... i'd say it was a pretty alright night
Don't worry. I have logic.... just not morals.
Randomize
